somethings when i stop to think about what i am getting myself into, it is a scary mess.  it's funny that i left fashion design because i didn't want it to be my whole life, to consume me.  and yet i chose international development, a career choice which changes your whole life: where you live, what you can eat, how often you can see your family, etc.  i'm pretty sure it's what i want in life, it is just a big commitment.  One that approaches as graduation will.

In other news.  My life is still fabulous because I'm taking control of it.  :)  Last night I got some friends to attend the Underpants Show with me, a set of burlesque performances with sexual identity from straight to gay, with plenty of ambiguity in between.  It was so funny and bawdy, with some naughty bits.  The audience had a heavy female/middle-aged component which was surprising, but it was such a wonderful community.  Since the theater was very small, there was plenty of feedback between the audience and the performers.  Afterwards, I went to a graduate house party which was okay... okay.

I really enjoy going to see new things, especially if they're interesting and different.  and part of me is reluctant to leave the US because i've noticed that developing countries don't have quite the same sense of developed entertainment that pushes boundaries (i think the questioning of binary sexuality was more interesting than the actual nakedness at the Underpants show).  I think it's my sense of art and what i want from it in terms of sophistication and challenge, of asking questions that haven't been asked before.  quite honestly, there's a reason why some of the best rock music comes from england and great hip hop is churned out from the USA... its the quantity of competition that keeps everyone on their toes.  because i don't want to hear covers of nirvana songs by some developing country band with good taste in music.  i want to hear something amazing that i've never heard before, i want new noises.